Expressions We Only Thought Were Literary

Dear Google,
In the past, I used to think elegant literary phrases were just that - literary.  Little did I know that many of them were actually accurate descriptions of reality.  For example, today I'd like to reminisce about my experiences with the phrase...

"THE NEXT THING I KNEW..."

The next thing I knew, I was flat on my back.  The next thing I knew, I woke up face-down on the sidewalk.  You hear things like this all the time in books and blog posts or wherever.  I thought it was just a nice phrase to get the point across that something happened very quickly.  Surely, if someone was falling, they would be aware of the falling sensation, right?

Well that's what I though too, until it happened to me...

"...I was flat on my back."
I was at a church young single adult activity.  We were playing an intense game of capture the flag.  My team was doing pretty great, and, as one of the quickest and sneakiest runners on my team, I found a chance to capture the enemy flag and bring it home.  I was bolting towards the flag, running in a wide arc that would bring me around the flag and right back into my team's territory.

But as I closed in on the flag, I caught sight of one of the guys from my team charging towards the flag from the opposite side as me.  There was nothing either of us could do.  We reached the flag at the same time, and then it happened.  Boom. THE NEXT THING I KNEW, I was flat on my back.  There was no falling.  No bracing myself.  In the same moment that I slammed into my teammate's solid body, I also found myself flat on the ground.  And yes, I SAW STARS too.  Another fancy phrase I thought was made up.  (In fact, it was almost a full 5 minutes later until they left me.  Stubborn little things.)

"...I woke up face-down on the sidewalk."
Yes, this happened to me too, just the other day.  No, I was not intoxicated with drink or high on drugs.  I just ran a bit too hard.

So this is what went down.  I was running along, just like any other day.  I supposed I was going a bit quicker than usual, and, just because I felt like being lazy, I stopped at a patch of grass next to the sidewalk to stretch.  But I must have bent down a little too quickly, because I started getting woozy.  I tried to walk it off, but soon gave in to the darkness and knelt down, clutching the grass and trying not to vomit.

THE NEXT THING I KNEW, I woke up face-down on the sidewalk.  My cheek was pressed up against the concrete and I had to uncrumple my fingers, also smashed up against the ground, to push myself up.  A lady had pulled over and was about to get out of her car to help me out, but I waved her along, confident that there was nothing wrong with me.

I got up and ran along like nothing happened, but gradually began to realize how strange that little incident was.  First of all, how did I get from the grass to the sidewalk?  Second of all, why did my shoulder hurt?  (I took a peek - yep, all scratched up.)  Thirdly, why was I breaking out in hives everywhere?  And finally, how long was I out?  It must have been longer than I thought if I'd managed to rub my face in noxious weeds,  move all the way to the sidewalk, and fall hard enough to bruise my face, shoulder, and jam three fingers.

It's a mystery. A total and complete mystery.

But both of these experiences were really exciting.  Gotta say.  I hope you all get to experience a NEXT THING I KNEW moment at least once.  But be safe, please.  Until next time!  BYEEE Google!!